Stop looking for Happiness in the same place where you lost it.
No busques la felicidad en el mismo lugar donde la perdiste.
Happiness is not something ready made.
It comes from your own actions.
Be always happy!!
La felicidad no es algo ya hecho.
Viene de tus propias acciones.
¡Sé feliz siempre!
Brilliant! Like Albert Einstein said, “We cannot solve problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
¡Genial! Albert Einstein dijo, “No podemos resolver nuestros problemas con el mismo pensamiento que usamos cuando los creamos.”
I want to wish you all a Happy, Happy 2015. Why such a happy new year?
I’m not very big on new year’s resolution, but I feel different this first day of 2015. It’s difficult for me to put it into words. What I can tell you is that my new year’s resolution is simply to be as happy as I can possible be. I’m a big believer that everything your heart desires comes to you when you are happy whether it’s health, prosperity, or abundance. Be happy today and always.
What’s your new year’s resolution?
Feliz, Feliz Año Nuevo
Les quiero desear un Feliz, Feliz 2015. ¿Por qué un año nuevo tan feliz?
Nunca me ha gustado hacer propósitos de año nuevo, pero me siento diferente este primer día de 2015. Es difícil explicarlo. Lo único que les puedo decir es que mi propósito para este año es ser lo más feliz que pueda ser. Creo que todo lo que deseamos en nuestras vidas- ya sea salud, prosperidad, abundancia- se manifiesta cuando eres feliz. Sé feliz hoy y siempre.
I could almost hear you say, “What a most egotistical thing to say about yourself?” Oh, but it’s true. I am not just intelligent, I am extremely intelligent.
The truth is my definition of intelligence is not that of society’s definition of intelligence. Merriam-Webster’s definitions of intelligence are (1)”the ability to learn or understand or to deal with new or trying situations: reason; also: the skilled use of reason.” “(2): the ability to apply knowledge to manipulate one’s environment or to think abstractly as measured by objective criteria (as tests).” While the majority of people I know will say you’re intelligent if you’re book smart, I beg to differ.
My definition of intelligence is taken from Dr. Dyer’s definition of intelligence. “A true barometer of intelligence is an effective, happy life lived each day and each present moment of every day.” ~ Dr. Dyer
A while back I was flipping through the pages of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s book, Your Erroneous Zones, and I came across his take on intelligence. He said, “The vision of intelligence predicates formal education and bookish excellence as the true measure of self-fulfillment. It encourages a type of intellectual snobbery that has brought with it demoralizing results. We have come to believe that someone who has more educational merit badges is ‘intelligent.’ Yet mental hospitals are clogged with patients who have all the properly lettered credentials- as well as many who don’t.”
As someone who was diagnosed with manic depression and OCD, I am well aware of the pain of depression and the feeling of hopelessness. Here I was in my psychiatrist’s office while in school for my second master’s degree, and I was miserable. In reality, there are millions of people out with “educational merit badges” (as Dr. Dyer calls them) who are considered “intelligent” by most, but are not living in a state of happiness.
Dr. Dyer goes on to say that “if you know that given your ability to resolve a particular concern you can still choose happiness, then you are intelligent.” It’s simple. The choice to be happy is yours.
Therefore, true intelligence for me lies in happiness, and this intelligence is our natural state. Always remember that at any moment in your life, you can choose to be happy. True intelligence lies within us.
Have you ever thought of intelligence in this way? What do you think of this definition of intelligence?
Mi Definición de la Inteligencia
Soy muy inteligente.
Creo que dijeron, “¡Qué cosa tan más egoista acaba de decir! Ah, pero es cierto. No solamente soy inteligente, sino soy muy inteligente.
La verdad es que mi definición de la inteligencia no es la definición de inteligencia de la sociedad. El diccionario Real Academia Espaõla define inteligencia como “1. Capacidad de entender o comprender” y “2. Capacidad de resolver problemas.” La mayoría de la gente dirá que uno es inteligente si eres un cerebrito, pero no estoy de acuerdo.
Mi definición de inteligencia es la del Dr. Dyer. “El verdadero barómetro de la inteligencia es una vida feliz y efectiva vivida cada día y en cada momento de cada día.”
Hace unos años, estaba hojeando las páginas del lbro del Dr Dyer, Your Erroneous Zones, o Tus Zonas Erróneas, cuando leí sobre la inteligencia. Dice, “Esta visión de la inteligencia postula la educación formal y el conocimiento académico o la cultura como la verdadera medida de la realización personal. Fomenta una especie de esnobismo intelectual que ha obtenido consigo unos resultados muy desmoralizadores. Hemos llegado a creer que una persona es “inteligente” si tiene una serie de títulos académicos, o una gran capacidad dentro de alguna disciplina escolástica es inteligente. Sin embargo, los hospitales psiquiátricos están atiborrados de pacientes que tienen todas las credenciales debidamente presentadas –como de muchos que no las tienen.”
Soy muy consciente del dolor de la depresión y el sentimiento de desperanza a causa de las enfermedades mentales. Hace más de 18 años me diagnosticaron con trastorno maníaco depresivo y con trastorno obsesivo compulsivo. Estaba en el consultorio de mi psiquiatra, estudiando para mi segunda maestría y era infeliz. En realidad, hay millones de personas que tienen título acádemico y son considerados “inteligentes,” pero no son felices.
El Dr. Dyer dice, “si sabes que tu capacidad para resolver un problema, puedes eligir la felicidad, entonces eres inteligente.”Es sencillo. La elección de ser feliz es tuya.
Por lo tanto, para mi la inteligencia verdadera reside en la felicidad y esta inteligencia es nuestro estado natural. Acuérdate siempre que la en cualquier momento de tu vida puedes elegir la felicidad. La inteligencia verdadera está dentro de cada uno de nosotros.
¿Has pensado de la inteligencia de esta manera? ¿Qué piensas de esta definición de la inteligencia?
After reading Life’s Operating Manual, I started to think more and more about competition and cooperation. In his book, Tom Shayac writes, “Contrary to what we believe, cooperation not competition is the ruling order of nature.” He clarifies this by saying that nature, such as a “redwood tree”, doesn’t take more water than it needs. And if something in nature takes more, then it is killed off. Take, for example, the kudzu vine that “overtakes everything in its path.” However, with time it leads “to its own demise.” How? “By elimintating biodiversity, an essential condition for life.” There is a beautiful balance we find in nature.
Now, let’s take this viewpoint and apply it to humans and to society.
How do we fare? From where I see- we are in a disarray.You think of things like war (them vs. us), poverty (rich and poor), education (the winners and losers), jobs (employed and unemployed), etc. Isn’t it very obvious that competition is dominant in our society?
Our culture has taught us to compete for everything.
After all, you want to be a winner and not a loser, right? Take school, for example. I can go back as far as primary school like the time I won the first grade spelling bee, the time I memorized a poem and recited it in front of the entire school, or the countless times that I received some kind of academic/citizen recognition. I felt on top of the world! Early on I learned that the more I studied the better I did, and the better I did the greater chance of me being at the top of my class.
Growing up, I felt that I needed to win in order to be someone. Good grades made me feel good, not to mention my parents loved it. I kept it up throughout high school and college, but with this came a lot of stress! You start to wonder about the college student suicide rates and depression associated with this stress.
Education should foster a love and passion for life. We should be asking what they love instead of drilling them with facts about things that they may not be interested in. Is it no wonder that 7,000 students are dropping out of school every day in the United States?
Competition is an illusion.
The truth is we are hardwired for connection. And what do I mean by hardwired? Since love is the foundation of who we are, then we are meant to connect to others and to be united. By being disconnected you are actually breaking this unity and creating independence. Thus, competition becomes an illusion as we are naturally dependent on each other- from the clothes we wear to the food we eat. We are one.
Herein lies the beauty of cooperation.
In Africa, an anthropologist went to go study “habits and customs of tribes.” One day he told the children of one tribe that he put candy in basket by a tree, and they are to go get the candy when he says “go.” The first one to reach the basket of candy would win it all. To his surprise, when he said “go” the children joined hands and ran together. When he asked them why they did this, one little girl responded, “How can one of us be happy if all the others are sad?” It was here that the anthropologist really understood the “true essence” of the tribe. (to read the entire article, click here)
Since we’re hardwire to connect, to be loved, but most importantly to love, then it follows that like nature, we too could live in a state of cooperation. Instead of comepeting with one another, why not help each other out? Like the children of the African tribe, mutual support breeds a harmonious, peaceful, and happier environment and individuals You may say, “Sure, Liz. That sounds great in theory.” It need not be like this. Change begins with each one of us. It was Gandhi who once said, “We need to be the change we want to see in this world.” I honestly believe that a state of cooperation would dismantle much of the suffering going on today in our world as a result of competition.
What are your thoughts on competition and cooperation?
Lo Falso de la Competencia
Después de haber leído Life’s Operating Manual, empecé a pensar más y más de la competencia y de cooperación. En su libro, Tom Shayac escribe, “Contrariamente a los que muchos piensan, cooperación y no competencia es el orden dominante de la naturaleza.” Él aclara esto al decir que la naturaleza, como un “árbol de la secoya”, no toma más agua de lo que necesita. Y si algo en la naturaleza toma más, entonces se mata. Toma por ejemplo la planta kudzu que “destruye todo lo que encuentra en su paso.” No obstante, con el tiempo, “la planta desaparece.” ¿Cómo? “Elimina la biodiversidad, una condición esencial para la vida.” Hay un balance hermoso en la naturaleza.
Ahora, vamos a tomar esta punto de vista y aplicarlo a los seres humanos y la sociedad.
¿Cómo nos va? Estamos en una situación caótica. Vamos a ponernos a pensar en cosas como una guerra (ellos vs. nosotros), la pobreza (ricos y pobres), educación (los ganadores y los perdedores), trabajo (los empleados y desempleados), etc. ¿No es muy obvio que la competencia domina nuestra sociedad?
Nuestra cultura nos ha enseñado a competir por todo.
Al fin y al cabo, ¿quieres ser un ganador y no un perdedor, verdad? Toma la escuela, por ejemplo. Me pongo a pensar cuando estaba en la primaria y la vez que gané la competencia de ortografía, o la vez que me memorizé un poema y lo recité en frente de todo la escuela, o todas las veces que recibí algún reconocimiento por mis calificaciones/comportamiento. ¡Me sentía en la cima del mundo! De niña aprendí que entre más estudiaba, me iba mejor en mis exámenes y al hacer bien en mis exámenes, sabía que tenía la mayor probabilidad de ser uno de los más inteligentes de mi clase.
Cuando era niña, sentía que necesitaba ganar para ser alguien de importancia. Buenas calificaciones me hacían sentir bien y a mis papas les encantaba. Durante la preparatoria y la universidad continue haciendo bien, ¡pero a la vez tenía mucho estrés! Nos podemos preguntar ¿por qué hay tantos estudiantes universitarios que contemplan suicidarse o están deprimidos?
La educación debería fomentar el amor y la pasión por la vida. Deberíamos preguntarnos ¿qué es lo que les encanta hacer? en lugar de repetir hechos de cosas que no nos interesa. ¿No es de extrañar que hay 7,000 estudiantes abandonando sus estudios cada día en los Estados Unidos?
La competencia es una ilusión.
La verdad es que estamos programados para la conexión. ¿Y qué significa programados? El amor es la fundación de quién somos, entonces estamos destinados para conectarnos con otros y estar unidos. Al estar desconectados, estamos quebrando nuestra unidad y creando independencia. Así, la competencia se convierte en una ilusión y dependemos el uno del otro- desde nuestra ropa hasta lo que comemos. Somos uno.
Ahí radica la belleza de la cooperación.
En Africa, un antropologo fue a estudiar las “costumbres y los hábitos de las tribus.” Un día les dijo a los niños que puso caramelos en una canasta cerca del árbol. Tenían que ir a agarrar los caramelos cuando él les dijera. El primero que llegara a la canasta se ganaría todos los caramelos. Se sorprendió al ver que cuando empezaron a correr, los niños se dieron la mano y corrieron juntos. Cuándo les preguntó ¿por qué hicieron esto? una niña le contestó, “¿Cómo puede uno de nosotros ser feliz si todos los demás están tristes?” Fue ahí donde el antropologo entendió la “esencia verdadera” de la tribú. (para leer el artículo, hagan clic aquí)
Ya que estamos programados a estar conectados, de ser amados y, sobretodo, de amar, entonces se deduce que al igual que la naturaleza, también nosotros podríamos vivir en un estado de cooperación. En lugar de competir unos con otros, ¿por qué no ayudar unos a otros? Como los niños de la tribú africana, el apoyo mutuo genera personas y un ambiente tranquilo, armonioso, y lleno de felicidad. Quizás estás diciendo, “Sí, Liz. Eso suena muy bien en teoría.” No necesita hacer así. El cambio empieza con cada uno de nosotros. Fue Ghandi quien dijo, “Sé el cambio que quieres ver en el mundo.” Creo que un estado de cooperación desmantelaría mucho del sufrimiento que hay en el mundo como resultado de la competencia.
Here are the 10 secrets that they shared in this webinar:
Give away a free e-newsletter and put this somewhere in the top right hand corner of your website.
Don’t just sell books – Start a movement (Be of Service)
Figure out the one message you can spend the rest of your life talking and writing about
You want to be BFFs with your heroes and sheroes – Give first.
Roc the Mic – Clarify what you want to say, overcome stage fright, attract paid speaking gigs
Create a compelling offer and package and book launch to create revenue during your book launch – Write a sales page
Monetize your blog- Turn your wisdom into e-courses
Start selling something from the get go
E- Newsletter – It could be costing you thousands.
Quadruple Tweeter- If you’re not following the follow, then you are not optimizing your Twitter.
The one that stood out for me was “figure out the one message you can spend the rest of your life writing and talking about.”
Lately, I have reflected on my blog and my writing that I do here, and although I feel that it is a bit scattered, the important thing is that I want to serve others by helping through my writing. Whether it has been with monetizing a blog or ways to be happier. I have felt as though I am here to teach others to live a more peaceful and happier existence. Therefore,
“My life is my message.” – Mahatma Gandhi
This may sound a bit funny and even trite, but the truth is for the most part, I am a happy person, and I have been for a few years now. Sure, from time to time, I may become frustrated, irritated, even a bit stressed, but I am also human. I see the pain, frustration, stress, and others, and know that each one of us can live a happier and peaceful existence. This is what I feel at the moment, and I’m simply going with the flow.
I am where I am supposed to be.
In essence, my life is my message. What I write in my blog is a reflection of my life. In my waking life, I do all I can to create my Heaven on Earth and I believe that we all can do the same.I am here to tell you that it is possible.You can begin by accepting and being grateful for what you have in your life and the people that are in your life is a step towards all this. If you are able to do this, then you’ll start seeing miracles in your everyday life.
How have you helped others? What is your one message?
El Único Mensaje
El mes pasado, yo fui uno de los afortunados 100 a escuchar Amy Ahler’s and Dr. Lissa Rankin’s webinar- Visionary Ignition Switch: 10 Red Hot Secrets to Fire Up Your Message, Money, and Meaning In the World, o El Interruptor de Encendido de tu Visión :10 Secretos Asombrosos para Iniciar Tu Mensaje, Dinero, y Significado en el Mundo. ¡Fue un seminario increíble! Estas dos damas hicieron un trabajo espectacular al compartir con nosotros los 10 puntos claves de como monetizar tu blog hasta las razones porqué se tiene que crear un boletín eléctrico.
Aquí están los 10 secretos que compartieron en este webinar:
Regala un boletín eléctrico y ponlo en la parte de arriba a la derecha de tu sitio web.
No solamente vendas libros – Empieza un moviemiento. ( Ayudo a Otros)
Decide que es el único mensaje del cual pudieras hablar y escribir el resto de tu vida
Quieres que tus heroes y heroínas sean tus mejores amigos. Da primero.
Ser un Gran Orador – Aclara lo que quieres decir, supera el miedo escénico y atrae trabajos pagados como orador
Crear una oferta y paquete atractivo y presentación del libro para crear ingresos durante el lanzamiento de tu libro – Escribe una página de ventas del libro
Monetiza tu blog- Convierte tu sabiduría en un e-course
Empieza a vender desde el principio
Boletín Eléctrico – Te puede estar costando miles
Cuadruplica Tweeter- Si no estás siguiendo a los que te siguen, entonces no estás optimizando tu Twitter
*Un Mensaje – Una Voz
EL secreto que resaltó más para mi fue el de “Decide que es el único mensaje del cual pudieras hablar y escribir el resto de tu vida.”
Ultimamente, he reflexionado de mi blog y de lo que he escrito hasta ahora, y aunque creo que mis entradas han sido un poco desconectadas en cuanto los temas, lo importante es que quiero ayudar a través de mi escritura- así como lo he hecho con posts como cómo monetizar un blog o maneras de ser más feliz. Me he sentido como si estoy aquí para enseñar y ayudar a otros vivir una vida más tranquila y más feliz. Por consiguiente,
“Mi vida es mi mensaje.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Quizás esto suene un poco trillado, pero la verdad es que soy una persona muy feliz y lo he sido estos ultimos años. Sí, a veces estoy frustrada, me irrito, y hasta tengo un poco de estrés, pero también soy ser humano. Veo el sufrimiento, la frustracíon, el estrés de los demás y sé que nosotros podemos vivir una vida llena de felicidad y pacífica. Esto es lo que siento en este momento y simplemente voy con la corriente.
Estoy exactamente donde debo de estar.
En esencia, mi vida es mi mensaje. Lo que escribo en mi blog es una reflexíon de mi vida. En mi propia vida, hago todo lo que pueda hacer para crear mi Cielo en la Tierra y creo que cada uno de nosotros tenemos la capacidad de hacer lo mismo.Estoy aquí para decirte que es posible. Agradezcan y acepten todo lo que tienen y a todos los que están en sus vidas. Si puedan hacer esto, empezarán a ver milagros en sus vidas cotidianas.
I’m happy to announce that I am officially done with my book proposal! The chapter that I submitted with this book proposal is titled My Happy Heart. In it, I discuss my path to finding true inner happiness. One way I did this was to eliminate my EGO, or Edging Out God as Dr. Dyer says. Below is an excerpt from this chapter that deals with this.
The seven key points that Dr. Dyer outlines in this chapter for Overcoming Ego’s Hold on You are listed here with some of my experiences when I lived through my ego.
1. Stop being offended. I used to be one that immediately believed every word others said about me and to me. I would become offended at the drop of a hat. What I remember most was that I would easily become agitated and annoyed at others who directed their beliefs towards me, and also those who simply did not take in my argument as the truth. Now, I simply do not listen to negative comments about me. That really is none of my business. 2. Let go of the need to win. Early on when I filed for divorce, I knew going in that one of the possibilities was that he could have wiped me financially clean. Under California law, he had every right to take more from me because I was the breadwinner. Spousal support and my retirement savings were at stake. I wanted to “win” my divorce. In terms of the outcome, I wished that everything would go in my favor so that he would not come out on top. In the end, I won. The financial aspect of this divorce did not leave me in an economic shamble as I heard and worried so much about from others who have even had to declare bankruptcy. In fact, my true winning came with all this actually concluding. I finally had closure with this and this was my true victory. 3. Let go of the need to be right. I used to have to be right in many arguments. One that stands out was a discussion I had with a friend on saving money for a child’s education. I was adamant to have her see that saving money for your child’s education was essential; she felt otherwise. The fact that she did not see it as I did made me furious. It made for a very quiet evening afterwards. She had every right to have her opinion. We all do. The difference for me now is that I respect what others think and none of us are right. I also do not impose my beliefs on anyone. This is not a necessity when one’s actions, or presence, and even silence, can speak for themselves. 4. Let go of the need to be superior. “I am so much better than others,” is something that I’d tell myself only a few years back. My education alone made me feel so much more than so many people. I had very little humility, if any. Now, I identify with all beings as coming from the Divine Source and this makes us one and equal regardless of our education and backgrounds. I’d often tell my adult ESL students, “El hecho de que yo esté enfrente de ustedes no significa que soy más que ustedes. Aquí todos somos iguales.” To which it can be translated as, “Just because I am standing in front of all of you does not make me a greater person that any of you. We are equal here.” I listen to everyone as I have learned from so many and I continue to learn. In my opinion, everyone walking on this planet is our teacher. 5. Let go of the need to have more. When I was in Spain, my friends and me decided to take a trip to Paris. During our stay there, we went to the Eiffel Tower and like true tourists, we all wanted to buy souvenirs right there by the tower, which, not surprisingly, were extremely overpriced. A rather simple, black, canvas purse with the word Paris written all over in silvery, glittery letter along with the picture of the Eiffel Tower in white caught my attention. My friend asked me, “You really aren’t thinking about buying that purse, are you?” And I responded, “I’m considering it.” To which she then said, “You can buy that purse at just about any store over in the States for less than half the price.” “Really?” I said in a sarchastic tone. I became very irritated that she had said this. I bought it that day and it was only to prove to her that I had the money to buy whatever I wanted I had the money and she didn’t. Never once did I use it in four years because I never did like it and it just didn’t grow on me. I winded up donating it to Goodwill. I know it found its place. What a difference from how I see this now. That black purse was only the first of many donations that I would make to simplify my life. Now, I really only have basic necessities (and my laptop of course) and I am more than happy with this. 6. Let go of identifying on the basis of your achievements. “I’m so much smarter than so many other people.” What horrendous and self-righteous remark! My concept of intelligence was equated to the number of degrees that one had. Imagine that! Back then, I really did tell myself, “I have two Master’s degrees. Need I say more?” A person’s success and worth for me was measured by how many degrees he or she had and also by the material possessions one had (house, car, etc.). What a heartbreaking concept and point of view I had then. Now, all the identity that I’ll ever need and my true success is that I am happy, at peace, and filled with love and joy. This is our divine and natural state. Everything else is secondary to me. 7. Let go of your reputation I learned that our egos love to listen to what others think and say about us. In the midst of my divorce, I didn’t want anyone to know about it because I was so afraid of being judged by others. “What are others going to say about me?” Slowly, I started to think that my happiness was my sole responsibility and no one else’s. For this reason alone, I started to not worry about what others thought or said about me. Also, Dr. Dyer once said in the Ellen De Generes show, “What others say or think about me is really none of my business.” Of course, I adopted this saying. This can be a sure way to let go of living with your reputation.
Could this be what you need to find your true inner happiness?
Thank you to all those who have been reading my posts, commenting, and liking my posts!
I am towards the end of finishing up my book proposal and it has been quite the experience! Writing the overview has helped me focus more and get a better feel for what I am trying to convey here. Being that it is a memoir, an outline would not be necessary , but the overview (that I am about to share), I think, served the purpose of the outline and made my writing easier to work with.
Here is the overview of my memoir: Looking Within: A Memoir.
The manuscript will be divided into 4 parts.
1. Part I: The Meeting And Marriage. Many women are in enamored with the idea of getting married and living happily ever after.I was one of them.Shortly after meeting my ex-husband, we were married. While I was married, I was second in my life as he was the center of my universe. Needless to say, the honeymoon didn’t last as reality set in and love and nurturance became absent in our marriage. Problems ensued and a separation seemed imminent.
A chapter will be devoted to this first part.
2. Part II. Emotional Healing. Shortly after the problems began, I withdrew emotionally and sought individual counseling. Slowly, I began to heal emotionally and I eventually I separated from him. All alone, I began to nurture my spirit as best I could. Soul searching and a return to my passions of learning, traveling, running, and writing became part of my recovery. This emotional healing part encompasses four sections that include emotional detachment, the separation, self-nurturance, and more changes that were in store for me.
A chapter will be devoted to each of the sections in part two.
3. Part III. Spiritual Healing. Spiritual healing eventually replaced my emotional healing. Changes in my beliefs and a series of unexplained events began happening to me such as moments of peace and an increase in intuitive abilities. As I began to awaken spiritually, I began to understand that my problems were mere illusions. In time, I began to practice spiritual principles of compassion, kindness, patience, and gratitude, among others , and I simply became happier.
A chapter will be devoted to each of the sections listed in part three.
4. Part IV. My Purpose in Life. I started to live in the present moment and the consistent peace that I longed for, as well as happy life, awaited me. After endless questioning, I found both my inner and outer purpose. I began to co-create my life as I intended it to be and found joy and miracles in my everyday life.
A chapter will be devoted to this section in this part.
One Woman’s Search for Her Truth and the Spiritual Awakening that Resulted
Part One: The Meeting
Chapter 1: Love at First Sound
“A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.” ~Jane Austen
This first chapter explains how I met my ex-husband. He was a musician and I was mesmerized when I saw and heard him play for the first time. Having met him would not be a coincidence. I go throughout my “picture perfect” marriage to the problems that arose in the last couple of years. Throughout my marriage, I put him first, and I put myself second. Writing has been a passion of mine since I was a little girl, yet I didn’t do it during my marriage. In fact, no passions of mine would come to the surface when I was married. Growing up in a Mexican household, I saw my mother do everything for my father, and I would imitate this when I became a wife. A “good wife” was supposed to clean, cook, serve her husband, do the laundry and iron for him, etc. I did all that and much more. Needless to say, problems arose and I became resentful.
Part Two: Emotional Healing
Chapter 2: Detachment
“Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” ~Winston Churchill
This chapter discusses my emotional detachment from my ex-husband. Guilt, shame, and depression set in, but thankfully, I met one of my angels on Earth: my counselor Christina. I began counseling on my own. I discuss the stages of grief as my counselor had pointed this out to me: denial, resentment and anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, and I apply them to my experience. Although my healing began as emotional healing, something very special was happening. Something unexplainable as I started dream and my dreams in many ways came true and made me even feel peace. Amidst all this pain, I was able to find hope. Nevertheless, the pain outweighed my peace at the time and the result was extreme disillusionment of my marriage. Divorce was inevitable and it was only a matter of time before I filed for it.
Chapter 3: Alone Again
“When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
This chapter begins with the divorce papers being served to my ex-husband and separated from him, I found myself alone again. All throughout this time, I questioned why this had happened and I questioned my existence. With a plethora of questions and no answers, I even questioned God. “Why would You do this to me?”, I’d ask Him. Briefly, I discuss my religion, Catholicism, and the role it played in my life during this time and I how I also questioned it. Although the pain continued, I had more for better days. Counseling and my divorce support group helped me tremendously, and for the first time, I learned about emotional healing in one of my counseling sessions. That day, I made the conscious decision to heal emotionally and I would keep my promise. The chapter ends with a return to love as I began to love myself again and slowly began to have glimpses of happy moments. I put my faith and trust in God with all this.
Chapter 4: A Well Deserved Break
“Fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.” ~Dale Carnegie
About 4 months after the separation, I came across Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I read it and thought, “I could do something like that.” After working nine years as a first grade teacher, I deserved a break. Nurturance of my spirit was in order and it was during this time that I yearned to learn about music and to play piano. I took a Classical music class and a piano class at East Los Angeles College. Exhausted and burnt out were perfect words to describe this teacher during this time. Initially, fear held me from making my decision to sell my home and go abroad. Once I made my decision, it was a done deal. My ex-husband and I put the house for sale and I went in September 2007 to Granada, Spain for a semester. For the first time in years, I began to put myself first in my life.
Chapter 5: More Changes: Going Back to School
“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” ~ Joseph Campbell
My stay abroad would only last four months, but it was enough for me. I missed my family dearly and I wanted to see them. Although I was ecstatic about the changes in my life and my new experiences, I began to feel lost. I was living with my parents again and in many ways I felt like a little girl. My counselor said that moving in with my parents would be a great thing because I would get nurturance from them – something I needed at the time. Confused, I contemplated what I wanted for myself. The answer was to go back to school and to get another master’s degree in linguistics. By no means was it a walk a park in the park, but learning is one of my passions and this return to school was what I needed. My faith and my spirituality were growing. My life and my divorce was making more sense to me and I kept my faith and trust in God.
Part Three: Spiritual Healing
Chapter 6: Bumps in the Road
“My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents, and I lay them both at His feet.” ~ Gandhi
There were some “problems” that I encountered as I began to awaken spiritually. I began to see the world in a completely different way and many incidents were happening that I could not explain. For example, I would be overcome with feelings of joy and peace: bliss, if you will. Peace took more presence in my life, but it wasn’t consistent. Change was now something that I welcomed more easily and speaking my truth was something I was learning to do. Finally, I was finding my own voice and I simply let it be. However, during this time, I also allowed myself to become stressed with school and, once again, I had to deal with not only depression, but a relapse of my mental illnesses: manic depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Aside from counseling, I began to see a psychiatrist and Seroquel, Lithium, and Zoloft entered my life and put me in numbed state as I began taking these drugs. Questioning Western medicine lead to believe that I could slowly rid myself on this dependence of drugs. Nathaniel Hawthorne once wrote, “A bodily disease which we look upon as whole and entire within itself, may, after all, be but a symptom of some ailment in the spiritual part.” With all this medication, peace took a back seat in my life and I greatly missed it. Although I had no idea of what it was to heal spiritually, I made the conscious choice to heal spiritually anyways. At the end of this chapter, I discuss what I saw as problems as illusions and how they were merely spiritual lessons to be learnt on this path.
Chapter 7: Kindness and Compassion – A Semester with Adults
“Our main goal is to help others. If you cannot help them, then at least resist from hurting them.” ~Dalai Lama
After leaving the world of primary education, I taught adults for 7 months. Armed with courage and with some fear, I began teaching English as a Second Language (ESL) classes to adults at a non-profit organization in Northern California. This entire experience was very humbling for me as I learnt so much from them. Being the first time I taught adults and ESl, my students held my hand and little by little I learned how to teach them and to teach ESL. Words cannot express the gratitude that they had for receiving the English lessons and for their teacher. During this time, I began to be even kinder and to develop compassion for not only my students, but for myself, as well. This chapter ends with learning the true meaning of being one.
Chapter 8: Gratitude and Patience – The High School Year
“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.” ~ St. Francis
Following the semester with adults, and armed with courage, I signed up to teach high school. In this chapter, I talk about the gratitude I now have for everything in my life as well as the patience. Also, I discuss the law of attraction and I apply to manifest both my job and my wonderful, new relationship. Throughout this school year, I had numerous questions such as why am I teaching high school? Then, it dawned on me one day. Physically and emotionally, it took a lot out of me. I was worrying yet again. It wasn’t until I learnt to let things go and let things be that I started to be myself again. I surrendered. More changes came as a result including a defining moment: my own epiphany. Around this time I read Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian L. Weiss. In it, he discusses, how we return in physical form to learn a spiritual lesson. In my humble opinion, I believe that in this lifetime I am meant to learn patience. My life events have yielded so many opportunities where I have had to be patient not only with others, but with myself, as well. This patience that I am learning has resulted in more peace for me, and those close to me. Patience also taught me to surrender and to simplify my life. I allowed what the Universe was blessing me with and I let my life events transpire. I let things be. Realizing this brought me great joy and happiness.
Chapter 9: A Happy Heart of My Own
“Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul.” ~ Democritus
This chapter begins with being grateful for learning to be happy regardless of what was happening in my life. Staying in the present moment has brought me peace, and that peace in turn has brought me happiness. Learning to let go of material possessions (as this isn’t true happiness), as well as letting go of fears to follow my heart has also contributed to my happiness. Suppressing my ego was key to go in the direction of true happiness for myself. In his book, The Power of Intention, Dr. Dyer lists the 7 Steps for Overcoming Ego’s Hold of You and they are the following: 1. Stop being offended, 2. Let go of the need to win, 3. Let go of the need to be right, 4. Let go of the need to be superior, 5. Let go of the need to have more, 6. Let go of identifying on the basis of your achievements, and 7. Let go of your reputation. In this chapter, I list each one and I give specific examples as to how this manifested in my own life. Finally, I discuss the dependence society has on antidepressants to achieve a state of happiness. The end of this chapter concludes with a quote from Ernst Shurtleff Holmes’ book Creative Mind:
As it’s given me to perceive,
I most certainly believe
When a man’s glad plumb through,
God’s pleased with him same’s you.
Part Four: My Purpose in Life
Chapter 10: Coming Into My Own
“Our Creator would never have made such lovely days, and have given us the deep hearts to enjoy them, above and beyond all thought, unless we were meant to be immortal.” ~Nathaniel Hawthorne
This chapter begins with answering my question on the meaning of my life. Why am I here? My answer lied in looking within myself. Because each of us has the divine spark, we are spiritual beings in physical bodies. We are, therefore, immortal and perfect as we are. My soul searching resulted in my finding both my inner and outer purposes. Seeking my truth and my never ending questioning brought me great peace as I made that fateful reconnection with God. Also, I discuss the love I have for others and myself as the greatest gift that I have given to myself and to them. Finding my balance in my life through meditation, nurturance of my spirit, and living in the present moment contributed to my spiritual awakening, as well. The divorce made it all possible and, in retrospect, it really is the best thing that has ever happened to me. The culmination of this spiritual journey resulted in the everyday miracles and a love for life. This chapter ends with my favorite poem: The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.
I am finishing up the chapter summaries for the book proposal. Here is the chapter summary of the chapter that I will be submitting. This chapter in question has to do with that ever fateful question of what is happiness. For some time, I pondered and pondered about what happiness meant to me and I came up with a very simple answer. For me, happiness is your zest for life and I believe that it is attainable by staying in the present moment. Being present has brought me peace, and this peace has in turn given me harmony, and, of course, happiness. In order to be present, I had to do one thing and that was to suppress my ego. In the summary below, I talk a little more about this chapter and what I needed to “let go” in order to be happy.
Chapter 9: A Happy Heart of My Own “Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul.” ~ Democritus
Being happy most of the time would have been something that I wouldn’t have admitted to in the past. Thankfully for me, I learned to be happy regardless of what was happening in my life. In this chapter, I give my take on happiness, and for the most part, staying in the present moment has brought me peace, and that peace in turn has brought me happiness. Learning to let go of material possessions (as this isn’t true happiness), as well as letting go of fears to follow my heart has also contributed to my happiness. Suppressing my ego was key to go in the direction of true happiness for myself. In his book, The Power of Intention, Dr. Dyer lists the 7 Steps for Overcoming Ego’s Hold of You and they are the following: 1. Stop being offended, 2. Let go of the need to win, 3. Let go of the need to be right, 4. Let go of the need to be superior, 5. Let go of the need to have more, 6. Let go of identifying on the basis of your achievements, and 7. Let go of your reputation. In this chapter, I list each one and I give specific examples as to how this manifested in my own life. Finally, I discuss the dependence society has on antidepressants, including myself, to achieve a state of happiness. The end of this chapter concludes with a quote from Ernst Shurtleff Holmes’ book Creative Mind: