Be Kind To Yourself – Sé Amable Contigo Mismo

Be Kind To Yourself

Today, I awoke with this one thought: Imagine what kind of world this would be if everyone would be kind to themselves? Believe it or not, I used to figuratively beat myself up. Everything I did was never “good enough” for me whether I was running, writing, doing homework, losing weight, cooking, etc.. The result was never up to par to my standards.

Until one day, my friend Kimberly sensed that I was being tough on myself and told me, “You sure are hard on yourself.” I denied it at first. Never would I treat friends and family this way, then why would I do it to myself?

Similarly, my friend Mike, once told me, “Talking about yourself and comparing yourself with others are forms of gossip.”  I had never thought about it that way. Gossip is something that I don’t do mainly because I think it’s a way to massage our egos. An underlying notion to this is that we feel better after belittling others. When the truth is that it’s our ego the one that we empower.

www.sallylyngestrella.blogspot.com
http://www.sallylyngestrella.blogspot.com

Needless to say, soon after this incident, I started to love myself more by being kind to myself. I rested when I was tired; I gave myself pats on the back for getting things done; I even began to tell myself that I loved myself. In reality, everything is as it should be. Everything happens for a reason.  And remember that if something does not go your way, consider it a blessing in disguise. The important thing to remember is that you are perfect where you are at the moment.

“Be gentle first with yourself if you wish to be gentle with others.” -Lama Yeshe

Hence, whenever you are about to tell yourself some really mean things, always remember to be kind to yourself. In the end, being kind to yourself really is akin to loving yourself. If you can do this, you genuinely project love unto others, and the world becomes a better place because of it.

Can you be more gentle with yourself? How have you been kind to yourself?

Sé Amable Contigo Mismo

Hoy me desperté con un pensamiento: ¿Cómo sería este mundo si todos fuéramos amables con nosotros mismos? Créanlo o no, antes solía ser realmente mala conmigo misma. Todo lo que hacia nunca fue lo suficientemente bueno para mí- ya sea si estaba corriendo, escribiendo, haciendo mi tarea, perdiendo peso, cocinando, etc. El resultado fue que nada de lo que hice cumplió con mis expectativas.

Hasta que un día mi amiga Kimberly  me dijo “Eres muy dura contigo misma.” Al principio, lo negué.  Jamás sería así con mis amigos y familia. Entonces ¿por qué era así conmigo misma?

De la misma manera, mi amigo Mike, me dijo, “Hablando de ti mismo y comparándote con otra persona es una forma de chisme.” El chisme es algo que a mí no me gusta en parte porque creo que es una forma de darle fuerza a nuestros egos.  Una idea subyacente a esto es que nos sentimos mejor después de menospreciar a los demás. Cuando la verdad es que es el ego el que fortalecemos.

www.sallylyngestrella.blogspot.com         "Amarse a sí mismo es el comienzo de un idilio que durará toda la vida." Oscar Wilde
http://www.sallylyngestrella.blogspot.com “Amarse a sí mismo es el comienzo de un idilio que durará toda la vida.” Oscar Wilde

Después de esto, empecé a amarme más y a empecé a ser amable conmigo misma. Decansaba cuando estaba cansada.  Me convertí en mi propia animadora cuando lograba una meta. Finalmente, empecé a decirme que amaba.  Todo está como debe que estar. Todo sucede por una razón. Acuérdense que si algo no pasa en la vida – puede ser que sea una bendicion que no ocurrió. Lo importante es que en este momente eres perfecto.

“Se amable contigo mismo primero si quieres ser amable con los demás.” -Lama Yeshe

De esta manera, cuando te vayas a despreciar, acuérdate de ser amable contigo mismo. Al final, siendo amable contigo mismo se asemeja al amar. Si logras hacer esto, entonces podrás amar aún más a otros, y el mundo será un lugar mejor.

¿Puedes ser más amable contigo mismo? ¿Has sido amable contigo mismo? 

Quit Your Job and Be Happy – Deja Tu Trabajo y Sé Feliz

Quit Your Job and Be Happy

As I write and edit my chapter on happiness from my memoir, I am reminded of all I did to become where I am now: happy.

Back in 2007 I quit my job as a teacher.

I was at an all time low back in 2006 and into 2007. Separated and going through a painful divorce, I gathered every ounce of courage I had in order to heal. I knew I needed a break from teaching.

“When the pain of staying put exceeds the fear of the unknown, you leap.” ~ Dr. Rankin

Inspired by Elizabeth Gilbert and her book, Eat, Pray, Love, I set out and did something a bit like her. I quit my job, I sold my home, I went to beautiful Spain for 4 months as a student, and I went back to school as a graduate student.

My decision to leave a secure  job was extremely hard for me to make. But,

Source:www.facebook.com/BalboaPress
Source:www.facebook.com/BalboaPress

once I took that leap, I never looked back.

Here is an excerpt from my memoir:

“I couldn’t deny the money I was making was good. I wasn’t earning a six or seven figure income, but it made for a comfortable living. At first, I worried about where I would work once I came back from my trip. What would I be doing in my next job? This teaching job I had was a safety net and over and over again I heard an echo from my ego. Repeatedly, I heard the same unnerving message : “teaching is a sure path for you.” “Sure,” I’d tell it. Thankfully, I listened to my heart   once again, and I also let it go. I figured if this profession would be for me, then it would make its way into my life once again. This was another risk I was willing to take and it was well worth it. Not a glimpse into knowing what my future held, I did my best to maintain a worry-free attitude. After leaving my job, I sold my house.  Looking back I think how courageous it was for me to have taken this step. I would  do it all over and exactly the same way if I had to. I don’t regret a thing.”

Oh, and like Elizabeth Gilbert, I too found love. 🙂

Have you ever quit your job to heal? Have you contemplated it?

Thank you for reading!

Liz

Deja Tu Trabajo y Sé Feliz

Mientras escribo y edito mi capítulo sobre la felicidad de mi memoria, me acuerdo de todo lo que he hecho para convértirme en una persona feliz.

En el 2007, dejé mi trabajo de maestra. 

En el 2006 y 2007, estaba pasando por un tiempo sumamente doloroso. Separada y, a la vez, pasando por un divorciéndome,  reuní todas mis fuerzas que tenía para sanar. Sabía que necesitaba un descanso de mi trabajo como maestra.

“Cuando el dolor de estar en un lugar es más que el miedo de lo desconocido, saltas.” ~ Dra. Rankin

Inspirada por Elizabeth Gilbert y su libro, Come, reza, ama,  hice algo muy similar a lo que hizo ella. Dejé mi trabajo, vendí mi casa, me fui al hermoso pais de España por cuatro meses, y después regresé a la universidad como estudiante de posgrado.

Mi decisión de dejar mi trabajo fue difícil de hacer. Pero, una vez que salté,  nunca miré hacia atrás.

Aquí está un extracto de mi memoria:

Source:www.facebook.com/BalboaPress *Hoy está lleno de lo posible.
Source:www.facebook.com/BalboaPress
*Hoy está lleno de lo posible.

“No podía negar que lo que me pagaban estaba bien. No tenía un ingreso de seis o siete cifras, pero tenía una vida cómoda. Al principio, me preocupaba de donde iba a trabajar cuando regresara de mi viaje. ¿Qué sería mi próximo trabajo? Este trabajo de maestra era para mí una red de seguridad y una y otra vez escuchaba el eco de mi ego. Repetidamente, oia el mismo mensaje inquietante: “La enseñanza es un camino seguro para tí.” “Ah, claro,” le decía. Escuché mi corazón una vez más y también lo dejé ir. Me di cuenta que si esta carrera sería para mí, entonces sería maestra una vez más.  Esto era un riesgo que estaba dispuesta a tomar y valió la pena. Sin tener la menor idea de lo que me esperaba en el el futuro, hice todo lo posible para mantenerme sin preocupaciones. Después de haber dejado mi trabajo, vendí mi casa. Para mí, el haber dado este paso es lo más valiente que pude haber hecho. Si tuviera que hacerlo de nuevo, lo haría todo otra vez. No me arrepiento de nada”

Ah, y como Elizabeth Gilbert, yo también encontré amor. 🙂

¿Has dejado tu trabajo para sanar? ¿Lo has contemplado?

¡Gracias por leer!

Liz

Let Go of Your EGO and Be Happy

LetGo credit:flickr.com

…of your EGO and be happy!

I’m happy to announce that I am officially done with my book proposal! The chapter that I submitted with this book proposal is titled My Happy Heart. In it, I discuss my path to finding true inner happiness. One way I did this was to eliminate my EGO, or Edging Out God as Dr. Dyer says. Below is an excerpt from this chapter that deals with this.

The seven key points that Dr. Dyer outlines in this chapter for Overcoming Ego’s Hold on You are listed here with some of my experiences when I lived through my ego.

1. Stop being offended. I used to be one that immediately believed every word others said about me and to me. I would become offended at the drop of a hat. What I remember most was that I would easily become agitated and annoyed at others who directed their beliefs towards me, and also those who simply did not take in my argument as the truth. Now, I simply do not listen to negative comments about me. That really is none of my business.
2. Let go of the need to win. Early on when I filed for divorce, I knew going in that one of the possibilities was that he could have wiped me financially clean. Under California law, he had every right to take more from me because I was the breadwinner. Spousal support and my retirement savings were at stake. I wanted to “win” my divorce. In terms of the outcome, I wished that everything would go in my favor so that he would not come out on top. In the end, I won. The financial aspect of this divorce did not leave me in an economic shamble as I heard and worried so much about from others who have even had to declare bankruptcy. In fact, my true winning came with all this actually concluding. I finally had closure with this and this was my true victory.
3. Let go of the need to be right. I used to have to be right in many arguments. One that stands out was a discussion I had with a friend on saving money for a child’s education. I was adamant to have her see that saving money for your child’s education was essential; she felt otherwise. The fact that she did not see it as I did made me furious. It made for a very quiet evening afterwards. She had every right to have her opinion. We all do. The difference for me now is that I respect what others think and none of us are right. I also do not impose my beliefs on anyone. This is not a necessity when one’s actions, or presence, and even silence, can speak for themselves.
4. Let go of the need to be superior. “I am so much better than others,” is something that I’d tell myself only a few years back. My education alone made me feel so much more than so many people. I had very little humility, if any. Now, I identify with all beings as coming from the Divine Source and this makes us one and equal regardless of our education and backgrounds. I’d often tell my adult ESL students, “El hecho de que yo esté enfrente de ustedes no significa que soy más que ustedes. Aquí todos somos iguales.” To which it can be translated as, “Just because I am standing in front of all of you does not make me a greater person that any of you. We are equal here.” I listen to everyone as I have learned from so many and I continue to learn. In my opinion, everyone walking on this planet is our teacher.
5. Let go of the need to have more. When I was in Spain, my friends and me decided to take a trip to Paris. During our stay there, we went to the Eiffel Tower and like true tourists, we all wanted to buy souvenirs right there by the tower, which, not surprisingly, were extremely overpriced. A rather simple, black, canvas purse with the word Paris written all over in silvery, glittery letter along with the picture of the Eiffel Tower in white caught my attention. My friend asked me, “You really aren’t thinking about buying that purse, are you?” And I responded, “I’m considering it.” To which she then said, “You can buy that purse at just about any store over in the States for less than half the price.” “Really?” I said in a sarchastic tone. I became very irritated that she had said this. I bought it that day and it was only to prove to her that I had the money to buy whatever I wanted I had the money and she didn’t. Never once did I use it in four years because I never did like it and it just didn’t grow on me. I winded up donating it to Goodwill. I know it found its place. What a difference from how I see this now. That black purse was only the first of many donations that I would make to simplify my life. Now, I really only have basic necessities (and my laptop of course) and I am more than happy with this.
6. Let go of identifying on the basis of your achievements. “I’m so much smarter than so many other people.” What horrendous and self-righteous remark! My concept of intelligence was equated to the number of degrees that one had. Imagine that! Back then, I really did tell myself, “I have two Master’s degrees. Need I say more?” A person’s success and worth for me was measured by how many degrees he or she had and also by the material possessions one had (house, car, etc.). What a heartbreaking concept and point of view I had then. Now, all the identity that I’ll ever need and my true success is that I am happy, at peace, and filled with love and joy. This is our divine and natural state. Everything else is secondary to me.
7. Let go of your reputation I learned that our egos love to listen to what others think and say about us. In the midst of my divorce, I didn’t want anyone to know about it because I was so afraid of being judged by others. “What are others going to say about me?” Slowly, I started to think that my happiness was my sole responsibility and no one else’s. For this reason alone, I started to not worry about what others thought or said about me. Also, Dr. Dyer once said in the Ellen De Generes show, “What others say or think about me is really none of my business.” Of course, I adopted this saying. This can be a sure way to let go of living with your reputation.

Could this be what you need to find your true inner happiness?

Thank you to all those who have been reading my posts, commenting, and liking my posts!

Much happiness to all of you!

Liz

Chapter 9 Summary: A Happy Heart of My Own

ImageI am finishing up the chapter summaries for the book proposal. Here is the chapter summary of the chapter that I will be submitting. This chapter in question has to do with that ever fateful question of what is happiness. For some time, I pondered and pondered about what happiness meant to me and I came up with a very simple answer. For me, happiness is your zest for life and I believe that it is attainable by staying in the present moment. Being present has brought me peace, and this peace has in turn given me harmony, and, of course, happiness. In order to be present, I had to do one thing and that was to suppress my ego. In the summary below, I talk a little more about this chapter and what I needed to “let go” in order to be happy. 

Chapter 9:  A Happy Heart of My Own                                                                           “Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul.” ~ Democritus

            Being happy most of the time would have been something that I wouldn’t have admitted to in the past. Thankfully for me, I learned to be happy regardless of what was happening in my life. In this chapter, I give my take on happiness, and for the most part, staying in the present moment has brought me peace, and that peace in turn has brought me happiness. Learning to let go of material possessions (as this isn’t true happiness), as well as letting go of fears to follow my heart has also contributed to my happiness. Suppressing my ego was key to go in the direction of true happiness for myself. In his book, The Power of Intention, Dr. Dyer lists the 7 Steps for Overcoming Ego’s Hold of You and they are the following: 1. Stop being offended, 2. Let go of the need to win, 3. Let go of the need to be right, 4. Let go of the need to be superior, 5. Let go of the need to have more, 6. Let go of identifying on the basis of your achievements, and 7. Let go of your reputation. In this chapter, I list each one and I give specific examples as to how this manifested in my own life. Finally, I discuss the dependence society has on antidepressants, including myself, to achieve a state of happiness. The end of this chapter concludes with a quote from Ernst Shurtleff Holmes’ book Creative Mind:

As it’s given me to perceive,

I most certainly believe

When a man’s glad plumb through,

God’s pleased with him same’s you.

 

What makes you happy?